NorCal Travels

This is a compilation from Charisma on Command Youtube Channel.

How to Be Funny without Offending/Pleasing People (Andrew Schultz) #

Youtube Link featuring Andrew Schultz Jokes in fun, but actions must show you're a nice genuine person.

1. Joke with People You Obviously Like (ie: Friends)
   • If you follow with joke about someone else it's seen in good fun/no ill intent
   • Tease yourself first so friends know it's in fun
     • too much seems insecure
     • mixed in with jokes of others shows confidence
2. Answer Questions with Absurd (Over the Top) Answers
   • Mix genuine answers with funny answers makes things more fun and not everything said taken at face value
3. Mix Compliments While Teasing Others
   • Backhanded compliments
   • Nice without funny = Boring
   • Funny without being nice = Jerk
   • Compliments + Teasing = Fun
4. Stereotype without Putting People Down
   • Charactertures/imitiations/impressions ok
   • Don't say anything negative or put down
5. Tease Everyone, Don't Single Out a Group
   • Once you get someone to laugh at something they agree with, easier to get them to laugh at themselves

How to be Charming without Trying (Emilia Clarke) #

Youtube Link featuring Emilia Clarke!

1. Frequent and Genuine Smile
   • Genuine smile uses eyes, fake ones don't
   • Allow yourself to find humor in everything
   • Highlight others around you, don't hold smiles/laughs back
2. Build People Up
   • Be supportive, laugh with them not at them
   • Can stil tease people, but sneak in a compliment
3. Raises the Energy in the Room
   • Doesn't just stay normal and blend in
   • Enthusiasm is one notch higher than those she's speaking to
4. Be an Active Listener
   • Repeat words, or use reaffirming responses
5. Make Other People Feel Good by Modeling How to Feel Good Yourself

How to be Popular without Trying (Chris Hemsworth) #

Youtube Link featuring Chris Hemsworth.

1. Be Funny/Joking/Playful
   • Do the opposite
   • Make jokes that elevate others (nice jokes), but don't look like a suckup
     • keep it short and move on
     • don't joke all the time, be genuine/serious too
   • Ok to share genuine/serious emotions (especially universal ones) without fearing judgement
     • Pride after working hard
     • Fear of not being good enough
     • Envy of success of others
2. Touch
   • Touch everyone (to varying degrees) - conveys warmth, confidence, without singling anyone out (being creepy)
   • Adjust touch according to relationship
     • read their reactions (varies by culture)
     • don't hover touch - feels awkward
     • make it feel good, don't fear being touchy/feely
3. Share Embarassing Things as if Not a Big Deal
   • Speaks without fear of judgement by others especially not being seen as "manly" enough
   • Shows comfortable in your own skin, transparent/not hiding anything from anyone
   • Gives you 2 options in life:
     • own what you do
     • don't do it
4. Share Praise
   • Only compliment someone when you mean it - be genuine/not fake or suck up
   • People like humility
   • Builds trust in others and better relationships

3 Habits to be Charismatic/Charming (Chris Pratt) #

Youtube Link featuring Chris Pratt.

1. Self Amusement
   • Start by doing it/having fun alone (ie: dancing, videos)
   • Do it for you to make your life more fun
   • Do it during "get to know you phase"
2. Reframe Ambiguous Situations in a Positive Light
   • Glass half full attitude in life even when could easily be seen as negative
3. Complementary Jokes
   • Build people up than tear them down

How To Turn Awkwardness Into Attraction (Aubrey Plaza) #

Youtube Link featuring Aubrey Plaza.

1. Call Out When You're Being Awkward
   • Cuts the tension - get's points for gutsy
   • Lean into awkward situation - run with it
   • Call out social norms mistakes
2. Don't Get Flustered or Uncomfortable When Things Get Awkward
   • Act like it was planned in a joking manner
3. Answering with 1 Word Responses
   • Add an extra sentence
4. Not Matching Expressions with Words
   • Was expecting more energetic response
   • Use deadpan sarcastic/over-the-top response to get out of situation
   • Laugh at yourself or explain yourself
5. Getting Caught in Awkward Silence
   • Hard pivot to save the conversation
     • do something even more awkward than the situation itself
   • Mindset
     • not doing what people expect of her and not being self-conscious
     • don't be so serious
     • not putting on airs
     • comfortable with your own awkwardness

How To Be Popular As An Introvert (Keanu Reeves) #

Youtube Link featuring Keanu Reeves.

1. Redirect Praise to Others
   • Can't take a compliment, thank them first then redirect
   • deflect with humor
2. Exudes Zen-Like Presence
   • A loud word or two for emphasis makes things more interesting
3. Enthusiastic Hand Gestures
   • NLP 101:
     • Audio: think it words; longer conversations; more sensitive to noises
     • Visual: tend to talk faster
     • Kinesthetic: talks slower, lots of gestures, words jumbled
   • Eye Direction When Thinking:

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The Habits #

Habits are the intersection of:

• Knowledge - What to do and why
• Skill - How to do
• Desire - Motivation, Want to do

Independence #

1. Be Proactive

2. Begin with the End in Mind

3. Put First Thing First

Interdependence (working with others, not Dependent) #

4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek First to Understand then be Understood
6. Synergize

Overall #

7. Sharpen the Saw

Character Ethic (Enduring Principles) #

• Fairness
  • The foundation of Justice
• Honest and Integrity
  • What Trust is built upon
• Service
  • Making a contribution/giving back
• Quality
  • Striving for Excellence and Improvement

Personality Ethic #

• Public Image
  • Human and PR Techniques
• Attitudes and Behaviors
  • Positive and Mental Attitude (PMA)
• Skills and Techniques

4 Life Support Factors #

1. Security
   • sense of worth, your identity, your emotional anchorage, your self-esteem, your basic personal strength or lack of it
2. Guidance
   • your source of direction in life
3. Wisdom
   • your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how the various parts and principles apply and relate to each other
4. Power
   • faculty or capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something

Fulfillment in Life #

• Serve
• Produce
• Contribute in meaningful ways
• learning/growing

There are times to teach and not teach #

• When relationships are strained and emotional, teaching may be perceived as judgment and rejection

• Teach when alone, quiet, and the relationship is good

• Intimidation (fear) builds weakness. Depends on external factors to get things done. When fear replaces cooperation, both people become illogical and defensive.

Things we blame #

• Genetics
• Psychic - upbringing
• Environment - people and situations that surround you

Management vs Leadership #

• Producers and Problem Solvers (Employees) - cutting through jungle with manchettes
• Managers - behind employees, writing policy/procedure, sharpening the knives, set up schedules, compensation programs for employees
• Leader - climbs the tallest tree, surveys the situation, yells "Wrong Jungle!".
  • The busy, efficient, employees and managers respond "shut up, we're making progress!"

Habit 1: Proactive #

Application Actions #

1. Listen to your language and others around you for reactive language
   • "If only"
   • "I can't"
   • "I have to"
2. Find an Example and how you would respond proactively
   • behave reactively in the past
   • remind yourself of gap between stimulus and response
   • make a commitment to yourself that you have the freedom to choose your response
3. Pick a problem at work/personal life
   • determine whether the problem ("control") is:
     • Direct - your behavior
     • Indirect - other people's behavior
     • No control - we can do nothing about
   • ID the first step in control of influence then take that step
4. 30 Day Test
   • be proactive for 30 days
     • how we handle situations
       • how we view the problem
       • where we focus our energy
       • language we use/put out there
     • make small commitments and keep them
     • be a light not a judge
     • be a model not a critic
     • be part of the solution not the problem
     • don't argue for other people's weaknesses or your own
     • when you make a mistake: admit it, correct it, learn from it immediately
       • don't blame or accuse
     • work on yourself, things you can control
     • look at weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation
       • issue isn't what they are doing/not doing
       • issue is your response to the situation and what you should be doing
       • if you think the problem is "out there", that thought is the problem
     • we are Responsible for our own effectiveness, happiness, our own circumstances
       • don't act out the scripts written by parents, associates, and society
   • note the change in your circle of influence

Habit 2: End in Mind #

• Imagine being on deathbed, how do you want to be remembered? Work backwards
• Develop a mission statement
  • personal mission statement based on values
  • organizational mission statements must involve everyone to develop

Mental (1st) Creation #

• Imagination:
  • Envision - create in our minds what can't see presently
  • See Potential
  • Conscience - ID our own personal endowments

4 Human Endowments #

1. Self-Awareness
2. Imagination
3. Conscience
4. Independent Will - Act not acted upon

Habit 3: First thing First #

Physical (2nd) Creation #

• Fulfillment, actualization, natural emergence of Habits 1 & 2
• Practicing Self Management: Day-in, day-out; moment-by-moment doing it
  • Manage from Left Brain (Logic)
  • Lead from Right Brain (Art)

Self Management #

| | Urgent | Not Urgent | |